MelodyL says:

I am the original poster on this thread. I can't reply to individual posts, so I decided to add a comment.
You know, you are absolutely correct. It's an addictive personality that is at play here. Not only the game. If there wasn't the game of Second Life, then there might be the bottle of alcohol, or the porn addiction, or anything else.

I do however believe that the ability to "get lost", in the virtual reality world for 10 hours a day, is feeding the isolation that accompanies this type of life. There can be no social life in the real world, if the gamer is INSIDE SECOND LIFE.

They might be saying "oh, I have friends in Second Life, I do stuff in Second Life". What the gamer does not realize is that NONE OF IT IS REAL. This is far different than playing a role playing game. That's a game.

Second Life is another existence. The gamer has substituted the REAL world for a FANTASY existence. The gamer has actually allowed is mind to GIVE UP family, loved ones, etc. to exist in something THAT IS NOT REAL. Oh, it's quite real to them at the time, because they don't want to face the outside world.

Think about it. It must affect the pleasure sensors inside the brain. The dopamine levels, the seratoniin levels. I mean, why else would a person spend 10 hours or more in something that is not real??? As Dr. Phil would say "What's the payoff?"

All I can say is I had a son who went to college, to loved me as a kid, who had friends over the house. I no longer have a son.

He is lost in delusional thinking. For him to change his way of thinking, for him to stop playing Second Life for 10 or more hours a day, he would need a reality check, a wake-up call, he would need them to stop giving him SSI, a roof over his head, and he would need them to step up and say "hey, you've got to go to work, WE are not going to support you any more.

Unless the powers that be do this, you will have thousands of people (mostly men with Aspergers Disorder), just turning their back on their loving families, and shrugging their shoulders and saying "why on earth should I have to work for a living, all my needs are met, I have medical care, I pay my bills, I don't have to leave the apartment, I get food, I have tv, a computer, cable service, etc. SO WHY SHOULD I WORK??"

Think about it. If you were 20 years old, never worked a day in your life, and you found a way to be taken care of, and you don't have to make the effort to go out, socialize, and risk rejection........well, that's the mind of a person with Aspergers, or any other socially inept disorder. There is, of course, help for these people. It's support groups. It's getting together with other socially inept people (of all ages).

But I'll be honest, when I hear that a married person, or a person's significant other, has left the relationship and gone on the computer for 50 hours a week, turned their backs on their families, well THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY AN ADDICTION, the same as drinking, drugging, and eating to excess.

If that person does not seek help, if that person does not want to change their life and more important, IF THAT PERSON CAN REALLY LOOK AND ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT THEIR BEHAVIOR IS DOING TO THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THEIR LIFE, well that person should be ashamed of themselves.

It's up to the person with the addiction to want to change. others are absolutely powerless. I have learned this way of thinking by going to online support groups.

I've met many parents, and loved ones of addicts and they are tearing their hair out. Their loved ones are lost to them.

Addiction changes the way a person perceives life. It just does.

And sadly, in virtual reality addiction, well, there are really no support groups for the OTHERS. We are just forgotten. It's like we don't exist. The game is the key. It's the reason they get up in the morning.

Also, when you have a young person (like my son), who never held a job in his life, and exists in this manner, well I guess I would call him Peter Pan.

He won't grow up, he refuses to work, he only cares about his own happiness. Just like a 5 year old.

Think about it.!!
Posted: 05/26/08 07:25